II Samuel 11:11-13
“And Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are dwelling in tents, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are encamped in the open fields. Shall I then go to my house to eat and drink, and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.” Then David said to Uriah, “Wait here today also, and tomorrow I will let you depart.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. Now when David called him, he ate and drank before him; and he made him drunk. And at evening he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but he did not go down to his house.”
I am really struggling with this verse. Honestly, I see loyalty more then discipline. Uriah knew the laws and rules of the land. Even though his king asked Uriah to break the law, Uriah still wouldn’t go sleep with his wife. Yet Uriah, didn’t even go home. He was a war and now he was brought home, while the rest of his friends were there fighting and dying. In this moment Uriah too me is more of a king then David was. I mean David was sleeping around while his men were out risking their lives for him. God, how is this discipline? Gosh the only thing that comes to me, is the fact that he was trained and he knew the law so much that he knew it was wrong. I feel like the way Uriah was, how much courage he had is what I want in my life. After being in Guatemala for so long am I going to fall back into the same temptations for that short amount of time. I am home for three days before I leave for Cambodia. Father, I am so thankful that it is three days, and not more. It just seems crazy, but I want to be Uriah. To have the courage to say no and stand up for what I believe. Instead of falling into the same routine as I had before coming to IGNITE. But the only way that I can do that is relying on You God. Taking your hand and trusting you with everything. Falling on You when I can’t stand. Wow, God, You truly are amazing. I think this is one of the coolest verses. Looking at it and applying it to my life, I mean I am not going to sleep with anyone. But that can be used as an example. An example of sin, and the fact that Uriah didn’t fall back into the same pattern after he was home.Uriah was ready to still be sent back to the war, and to serve for his king’s army. I need to be ready to be sent to Cambodia.Father, You have so much in store, and I need to trust You in everything. Help me not fall into the same pattern as sin. Help grab Your hand and walk together, as I am home for a short time. And as I travel to the next place You have for me. I am ready to serve My King’s army. Father, You are just so amazing and I love You. Thank You for talking through the verse that I least expected. Help me be still in Your presence and listen to Your voice.
Your Ready Soldier,
A: I am going to write a list of all the things that I do here and Guatemala that I didn’t do at home. Then when I am home for three days, I am going to bring those things into my home.
II Corinthians 13:11
“Finally, brethren, farewell. Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.”
I can not describe to You the love I feel towards everyone on this property. We have grown into such an amazing family. And I want to pray for our future when this is all over. When we finish in Montana, and we are sent home for our 2 months. God, it scares me greatly, I mean just thinking about leaving Guatemala, makes my heart want to cry. This is my family and we have 3 weeks left together was a group. A group that if one is sick or gone, we all feel it. We are complete, complete in You. At first, we were crazy, not being able to agree on anything but now we are together in Christ and we are in good comfort. What does that mean to be of good comfort. God, it’s when we go and comfort the ones that are hurting. I remember the other day, I read something on Facebook and started crying. I had three of my siblings come over and ask if I was okay. Those small gestures mean so much to me, it just shows that we are of one mind and of good comfort. I have to thank You, because being here for almost 3 months now, we have been living in peace. Peace in You, we know how to joke, but also how to be serious. You remind me of the verse in Ecclesiastes about a time for everything. Father, I believe that we really have that verse down.The love that we share for each other is incredible, and we really are of one find. Farewell my family, I will always hold you so close to my heart. The memories that were created will forever be engraved in my mind. I thank you with all my heart. 3 weeks before we put our faith in You to the test. You are the beginning and the end. Forever and ever, I will praise Your name.
A: I will take a moment and pray for each one of my new family members.
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
You now my fear and struggle. Confrontation is like one of the worst things for me. It’s not that I don’t like to do it. I just don’t want to upset the other person. I always get the feeling that they just don’t care. Which isn’t fair for me to assume, but it’s just my thoughts that I have a hard time controlling. I always know when you want me to tell the other person though. Because everything that follows will be pointing me back to them. God, I feel like that is always that fear that keeps me down for a long time. My problem is that I’ll let it eat away at me, until finally it’s unbearable. Here’s the thing, as soon as I let it out and tell the other person everything gets better. Our relationship grows ten times and the situation or “sin” is forgotten about. It’s crazy how different it is after. That burden that was holding me down seems to be lifted, and the “brother” that I was afraid to loose, becomes closer then ever. I need to rely on You and what Your plans are. Whenever I try to do it on my own strength and I try to do it because I am worried about everyone else’s feelings it ends up killing me inside. And it also pulls friendships apart slowly, Father, help me not make situations worse then they need to be. Help me trust Your plan and Your love. You taught me the other day that, not telling a person about what is bothering is actually selfishness. I never thought about it like that, but when I hold it in fear that the other person is going to get upset or mad at me. Its actually sin, I am thinking only of myself. It’s a pride issue in a way or like a people pleaser. You know that I struggled with this, it’s not bad to be a people pleaser, yet it is also not good. If I allow them to continue doing their same sin, and not help exhort them. Then I too have fallen into sin, which in the end, Father, You don’t want me there. No You know what is good for me and my “brother”. Keeping our eyes fixed on You at all times. God, when I have fear about something it means that I am not trusting in You. Which I definitely need to be practicing, trusting in You.
A: Will tell my teammates what is on my heart.
I Corinthians 9:24-27
“Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
Honestly, I don’t even know what to get out of this. I just feel like lately I have been trying to force these IBS’s and I don’t want them to be forced. Father, I go into them expecting to learn something, yet I feel like I hit a wall. A wall that I just can’t seem to get over, and I really don’t want to force them out. I feel like I am becoming lazy, getting distracted by everything else around me. I keep looking to the left and to the right. This verse is about running the race, and keeping your eyes on the prize. I can’t look to see how close the person behind is,because than I will loose my pace. God, how do I keep focused on you and no one else. My emotions seem to take over my thoughts, and it is super hard to get back on track with you. Sometimes I feel like you are so far ahead of my that I can’t ever catch up. But it is a lie, because you are always at my side. I just need to sit and be in your presence. Without training, which is reading your word, and practice, which that is also living out your word. I can’t do anything, I need to be constantly in your presence, to my is praying to you daily. Daily… It’s hard to remember You Father when “I” get in the way. I hate how “I” always get in the way of seeing You. Please break me, because all I want in this world is You. In the end, it’s my own pride that gets in the way. Maybe that is why in the end I can’t seem too get anything out of these verses. It all comes do to the fact that “I” am keeping myself from hearing from You. In the end I am causing myself to become sluggish, and undisciplined. Father i need you to help me get back into doing everything for You and not for my own will and wants. Help me keep my eyes focused on you, and help me get deeper into Your word. You are just so amazing and I love You so much.
A: I will sit and pray to God for a complete hour just listening and talking to Him.
“and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;”
Faith in Christ is what sticks out to me in this verse. Why? it’s interesting the way that God works. I looked at this verse so much and I just didn’t feel like God was telling me anything through it. Faith in Christ is the only thing that keeps sticking out to me. “The righteousness which is from God by faith…. Faith… But why? Faith is one of the first topics we covered. Why is it week 10 and now it is coming up again for me? The theme this week is Sacrifice… Then why faith? Well, what I am getting from it is that sacrifice is done with faith. I think of Abraham and Isaac for an example. Abraham was going to give up his only son, because the Lord asked him too. That too me is amazing. I can’t even imagine what was going through Abraham’s mind. As God asked him to give up his only son, and then to completely have faith that God knew what He was doing. Amazing! The love that Abraham had towards God, the faith he had to trust and be obedient. It just makes me think about my life and how much faith i have in my Creator. All I need to do it trust, yet I have such little faith. I hate to say it, well maybe it just seems little to me. My desire is too grow my faith in my Savior, but the only way to actually be able to do that is stepping out of my comfort zone. Trusting God in every action that I take. If that is simply from telling people how I feel when they ask, or to praying out loud when asked. It seems small things, and automatically I want to do these crazy things to prove that I am faithful to my God. Then I am reminded that it is not about what I do it’s, all about what my heart’s attentions are. God sees my heart and that it truly what matters.
A: I will write on my hand “Where is your heart.” To remind myself to be doing everything for God.
Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ.
I always find myself wondering about things. I get so worked up about nothing really. My attention gets taken away from God and put into materialistic things. For example… Money. Now I am not a fanatic when it comes to money, but I always like to see my bank account numbers going up rather then going down. I mean who doesn’t. This is one thing my focus is drawn too. Back when I worked, I almost never spent money. I think I spent money once a month, just because I honestly really didn’t have a desire for anything. I do remember that one time my friends told me, you need to treat yourself once in awhile. Anytime I did “treat” myself it was shopping for clothes. In those brief moments of shopping I was scared of what I turned into. I wanted more and more clothes, then the standing in line for check out got me. Why would they put those stupid little items right there, as I am trying to check out? I hate those things, most annoying thing ever… Because I would end up getting things that I didn’t really need, or that I would NEVER use. Anyway the price at the end of my little “treat” was a lot higher then I wanted it to be. One reason why I hate shopping. The person that I became was strange, I was a person that cared up clothes and looks. What others are going to think of me. “Yet I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.” Everything I thought was important or that I cared about really didn’t matter at the end. The things that Jesus gave is so much more then I could ever give up. My life is about clothes, jewelry, or looking the best. It’s about are my actions pleasing to God. In the end when I die nothing is coming with me to heaven. Plus I won’t need anything, because heaven is prefect. Everything on this earth is rubbish or correction everything that the world cares about is rubbish. It’s all about “You need to change this and this about you and then you will be popular and everyone will like you.” My God says follow me because I love you. My God created me the way I am for a reason and He doesn’t make mistakes. I am grateful for everything He has blessed me with. In my life I need to be focusing on Him with everything I have. Staying focused on His plan and love for me.
A: I will wear the first things I pull out of my closet and not try to match. Or see if it looks good.
Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
What are You trying to share with me or show me through this verse? What are You teaching me? “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”(Amos 3:3)…. Friendship, unity, servant hood, wisdom, and some other lessons You are teaching us through our time here…. Unity… God, what is it You want to show me? Teach me Father. Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? Walk together…. Help each other…. Burdens… Unless agreed…. God, I just remember growing up and always struggling to make sure everyone was happy. I always cared about everyone’s feelings and opinions, and never really voiced my own. For fear that many wouldn’t agree. Conflict that is what I was and am afraid of. No, I always hated conflict, I always tired to avoid. To this day I have noticed that I do everything possible to make sure there is peace between people and myself. I seem to have fallen into a place that is laid back, and if someone wants to do something I will go along with it. Walking with a friend is like one of my favorite moments because I can just talk to them the entire way. My friend and I used to walk everywhere. We would walk miles and miles, and have now real destination. It was always some of my favorite times because we would talk about everything. I mean everything, and those were some of the best conversations. There was never a quiet moment we were always laughing, and we were always enjoying each others company. UNLESS, of course we were in a fight or disagreement, which was rarely. But I remember some of those times. The awkward, upset, frustrated moments that we always tired to avoid. Honestly, I always took the blame, because I hated seeing my friend sad and I hated it when she was angry with me. In those moments our walks were quiet and no one said a word. 2 days would go by and then we were best friends again. This was brought with me as I am here in a new environment. Surrounded by new friends. As I grew up, I always found myself stuck in the middle of to fighting countries. Never did I pick a side between friends that were fighting. It wasn’t fair in those moments to choose a side and forget the other friend. The arguments that they were getting upset about seemed childish to me, get over it. Forgive her, it was a mistake. It simply was one person had to die to themselves. But pride always got in the way of people and the fights and grudges held lasted forever. It would destroy friendships, but this is teaching me that I need to be in agreement with my friends. God, you taught me to die to myself, even if it’s doing something that I really didn’t want to do. My Friend I love how I completely changed this into a rant a little, but You are still showing me that I need to die to myself. That the world doesn’t revolve around me, and that I am going to miss out on friendships if I am to stubborn to do what others want to do. Thank You my Friend and I praise Your name.